Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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