508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
