I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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