No awkward lesbian experiences without me
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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