i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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