dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
