Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
