he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
