Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i think i have two assholes
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Holy shit dude........stairs
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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