I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
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