Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
