I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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