friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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