i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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