At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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