why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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