its not stalking. its research.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
