I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
