Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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