In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
