"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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