We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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