the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
