I'm lost and stupid without you.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
