3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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