She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
