Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
