He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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