dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
