you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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