haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
