A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
