my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
there is puke in my bra ... again
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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