Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
