Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize