Swine flu is the new snow day.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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