Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
