Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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