went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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