so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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