i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
