At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Enjoy the penises
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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