Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
