I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
