omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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