Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
