Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
