He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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