i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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