Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
