he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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