just come out here and I will go home with you...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
