Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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