he quoted the bible to break up with me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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