Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
