She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
