Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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