When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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