Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I wear drunk well.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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