garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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