so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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