so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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