Umm I'm too high to move.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
