Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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