there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize