I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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