Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
