i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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