Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
